RELIGIOUS TRUTHS
TAOISM:
Shit happens.
BUDDHISM:
If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
HINDUISM:
This shit has happened before.
ISLAM:
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
CATHOLICISM:
Shit happens because you deserve it.
PROTESTANTISM:
Let shit happen to somedody else.
JUDAISM:
Why does shit always happen to us?